Starting Again
by Lady Monozuki
Summary: One-Shot: Ryoma stayed with him, hoping that everything would get better. It never did. It's up to him as to whether he will stay or start over again.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis**

Lady Monozuki: So this was born out of my loneliness mostly. I miss my friends and talking to people. Anyway, I hope you enjoy. Please review!

It's the same battle over again, the one that we have fought in for far too many times. It's the same arguments as before, the ones that always wind up with me crying on the floor. It's the same promises he gives to me, the ones that are always so easily forgotten by the dawn. It's the same heartache that I feel each day, the one where I wish I could die to take the pain away. It's the same routine that we get caught up in, the one where happiness does not lie within. The smiles are always so fake, but we continue this charade because it will never end.

No matter how many times I try to leave, I always crawl back and plead. No matter how many times I try to forget, there is always my regret. No matter how many times I try to hold on, all of my suffering is just prolonged. No matter how many times I want him to only pay attention to me, I know that he will just go back out there and cheat. No matter how many times I wish for this to end, I cannot bring myself to stop him. Even though we know that all we're doing is hurting each other more, we continue as though nothing has happened before.

We know that this façade will not last. We know that we have long since fallen out of love. Yet we continue on with false hopes and dreams. I close my eyes and let the tears fall down my face. It's the same battle over again. It's the same pain that I have felt since when I found out about his cheating ways. I had always hoped that I would be able to win him back over. However, I knew that there was nothing that I could do. He had chosen another person over me and constantly let me spend my nights alone. I stick with him because I have no home.

I gave up everything to be by his side. I never thought I would live this lonely life. We had promised to be there for each other forever. He turned his back on me and made it clear that we were hardly "together". Yet, I still stay at his place. I know where he goes and what he does, but I cannot bring myself to demand his attention. I knew that this would happen since he was one of the richest men. However, I had hoped there would be a different end. Our web of lies are tall enough to reach the crying skies. Our pain is far too deep.

It would be only a matter of time, before everything we fought to disprove would be exposed in the ugly truth. We were always sinking and there was no way to stop us from drowning. That is why I've called over my last friend, hoping that with him, I could bring this messy affair to an end. I wait for him to ring the bell, listening for the sound of my last hope. I hear the resounding of the chime and I stand to answer its call. I open and see my friend waiting patiently for me to invite him in. I motion for him to come inside. He smiles a bitter grin.

I know that he is upset because I once rejected him and now and relying on him to get me out of the mess I'm in. I never kept my pain a secret from him, and he always listened to my problems without trying to get me to be by his side. I always found him to be comforting and kind, even though there were those who had only experienced his sadistic side. I need him to reassure me once again and tell me that he is always there. My body starts to shake; there is no point on acting fake. I am the one who called him here, hoping that he could calm my fears. I feel his arms wrap around me, he knows what I've gone through most of the journey. He knows all about my scars, not just the ones on my bleeding heart.

He has always stuck by my side; he is the one who's been my guide. I don't know where I would be without him, I don't know if I would have even considered breaking up with my boyfriend. I really cannot thank him enough for helping me start to break free. He makes me feel like a special friend, always setting aside his life for me. He takes me out when he knows that I should not be alone. He has prevented me from keeping my heart as stone. We sit next to each other on the couch; he waits for me to find my voice. I don't know where to begin. After all, it's always the same end.

I am the one who made the sacrifice. My boyfriend is the one who continues to trample on my life. I look at my friend with tears in my eyes. He is attentive and stares at me with his rarely seen blue eyes. He grabs onto my hand and I secretly hope he doesn't let go. I need him to get through this phase, so that I can move on and do as a please. I have been hurting far too long, and I know that it's past time that I move forward. I know that I may be setting myself up for more hurt, but I silently wish that Fuji will take me in. I want him to protect me until I can stand once again. He has always been a shelter in this storm.

One that I could continue to go to without having to fear of is to come. I try to compose myself enough to speak. He is always patient with me. He starts to rub circles on my back, whispering words of comfort that I needed to hear. I slowly find myself calming down. I look at him and open my mouth.

"I need to get out," I say. He knows this already though. It's all I have talked about for the past four years. I had never mustered enough courage though. Always waiting for things to get better and never taking action. I can see his face darken. He probably figures that I'm just overly depressed again and not going to act. Part of me is scared. I don't know whether or not I'll have enough strength to make it on my own. I hope that he will be able to help me.

"Ryoma," he says. "I don't want to listen to this if all you are going to do is go back to Atobe."

I shake my head. "N-No," I say. I can feel the tears streaming down my face. I must look pathetic in his eyes. All I ever seem to do is cry. I don't want to cry anymore. I'm through with Kei-Atobe fooling around. I don't want that life anymore. "I-I want to get out. I wanted to know if I can stay with y-you."

I can feel myself blush, but I keep staring at Fuji, hoping that he won't turn his back on me after all these years and hoping that I can start over again. His eyes close and I see a familiar smile form on his face.

"I think that can be arranged," he whispers. Without any warning, he leans in and kisses me. I deepen it, savoring the contact between the two of us. I have been craving for someone to care for me for so long that this seemed like pure heaven for me. We break apart. I am breathing heavily. Even though I know it will still be a long journey ahead, I am at least starting again.

~End~


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